Last but not least… Pillar 15!
August 18th, 2008 Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »Parenting Advice: 15 Pillars - Pillar 15
Miss a reward.
After learning how to prepare for proper behavior, how to approach and evaluate negative behavior, and then how to handle any bad behavior that needs handling, here is the last technique.
Handle with care! If a consequence is necessary, set it up so that the situation empowers your child toward success. Help your child be an excellent decision-maker. Here is how it works:
“When you finish your homework, you can go out to play.”
“After you fold the clothes, we can play a game.”
“When you are ready for bed, I will read you a story.”
Yes, that’s the consequence… missing a pleasant activity. Hopefully, the pleasantness of that activity will spur your child on to try to achieve it. If missed, it will serve as a punishment but not leave some of the unpleasant pain that a punishment usually carries with it.
While there will be times that a punsihment is necessary, in general, it is best to set up life for your child in this way. As you know, “If a child has been hurt, he/she wants to hurt back. If a child has been rewarded, he/she wants to reward back.” That’s just the way it is.
Dr. Sally
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